April 14, 2026
On Letting Go of the Person You Planned to Be
At some point, you realize the life you imagined at 18 isn't the life you actually want at 26. And that's not failure — that's growth.
At some point, you realize the life you imagined at 18 isn't the life you actually want at 26. And that's not failure
When I was 18, I had a plan. A very detailed, color-coded, five-year plan. I knew what job I'd have, what city I'd live in, what kind of person I'd be.
None of it happened. And for a long time, I thought that meant I'd failed.
But here's the thing about plans made at 18: they're made by someone who doesn't know anything yet. That's not a criticism — it's just true. How could I have known what I wanted when I hadn't experienced enough to know what was possible?
The person I am at 26 is nothing like the person I planned to be. She's messier. Less certain. More confused about some things and more confident about others. She took detours that 18-year-old me would have called mistakes. But those detours? They're the best parts of the story.
Letting go of the planned version of yourself is grief, make no mistake. You mourn the certainty. The clean narrative. The person who had it all figured out.
But once you let go, something opens up. Space. For the unplanned, unexpected, beautifully chaotic version of you that was trying to emerge all along.
I don't have a five-year plan anymore. I have a direction and a willingness to be surprised. It turns out that's more than enough.
— H ✦